It's that time of year again! The one day where Moms are universally recognized for their unending contribution to humanity.
I mean really, think about it: every single person on this earth was put here by a mom. All of us. You, by a mom; Steve Jobs, by a mom; your boss, by a mom; Michael Kors, yep, by a mom; George Clooney, (well, we're pretty sure he came directly from the gods); every chemist, every doctor, every pastor, farmer, and teacher, all brought onto this earth by a mom. We literally grow them with just OUR BODIES and then spend the rest of our lives making sure that they've eaten, bathed, slept well, finished their homework, are happy, healthy and are dressed better than we were at their age (although I had a pretty mean pair of culottes when I was 5, thanks mom).
So it's no wonder that we see so many advertisements for 'Gifts that Mom Will Love'. And don't get me wrong, the necklace with the birthstone is awesome; the flowers are a beautiful; the spa gift card (if I could find time to use it) would be so amazing. But we're pretty sure whoever made these lists, has never given birth and probably gets to use the bathroom with the door closed.
So we compiled a list of what moms really want for Mother's Day (like REALLY).
- To pee audience free (sounds easy enough; it's not)
- To shower without having to stick our head out every 3 minutes to determine if that was a happy scream or a hurt scream.
- A clean house (although at this point, we will accept a half-decent straightened up semblance of a house)
- To be able to sit through an entire movie uninterrupted (can't promise we will stay awake; see numbers 1, 5, 9 and 13)
- To eat dinner while the food is still hot
- A day off from mom-ing (not fully possible, still mental mom-ing)
- To find out what is causing that smell in the car
- To be able to stay in the shower long enough to not have to choose between shaving legs or washing hair (that's a gift for you too, dad)
- A guarantee that no one in the house will get lice (again)
- We'll take just sleep, really
But most importantly, give your mom a sincere 'Thank You' for consistently putting everyone else's needs above her own (and a little handmade card of course).